your parents love me but you hate me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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