wat bout pragnant strippers??
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
