You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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