That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
