apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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