anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
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