I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
