Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
