I'm going to rape someone's good day.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
