He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
