My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
