I must be too annoying 4 u.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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