we're blogging at a bar
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
