So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
