I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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