All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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