Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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