Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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