Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
