what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
