Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
