it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
