why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
