dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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