I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
