Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
