I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
