Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
