I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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