He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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