Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
