just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
