Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
