I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
