Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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