my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
