You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
