I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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