***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
