So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am available for nakedness
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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