Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
