p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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