i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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