I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I could fuck to npr.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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