would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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