Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We named our party play list daddy issues
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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