brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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