According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
