Duck Duck Cougar?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
