All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
