i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
